When you’ve grown up with chronic misattunement you’ll know it, even if you’re never heard that word.

You’ll know how it looks, how it sounds, and how it feels.

• It feels like hyper sensitivity in relationships, especially attachment bonds.
• It feels like anxiety or withdrawal, numbness or extreme intensity.
• It sounds like a critical voice in your head
• It looks like addiction patterns (remember, process addictions can be just as harmful as substances).
• It looks like anxiety, fear of rejection, people pleasing and self-abandonment
• It feels like a domineering “power over” part of yourself runs the show way too often
• It looks like the 6 trauma responses (fight, flight, fawn, collapse, attach cry and freeze)
• It feels like disconnection, being unseen, and misunderstood

For us humans, experiencing chronic misattunement takes a significant toll. A toll on our body (manifesting across our nervous systems, endocrine systems, connective tissue, immune systems and our brain power and capacity to use our inherent intelligence potential.

Yes, the effects of even long-term developmental misattunement trauma can be healed to a great extent, which is good news. But it’s not an easy path, even if it is insanely worth it.

For us humans, experiencing chronic misattunement takes a significant toll. A toll on our body (manifesting across our nervous systems, endocrine systems, connective tissue, immune systems and our brain power and capacity to use our inherent intelligence potential.

Yes, the effects of even long-term developmental misattunement trauma can be healed to a great extent, which is good news. But it’s not an easy path, even if it is insanely worth it.

Every person who is insecurely attached experienced chronic misattunement during their childhoods, without exception. Many also experienced ACE’s, however it seems widely accepted now that it is chronic misattunement and developmental wounds that contribute most significantly to how we form attachment bonds in intimacy as adults. 

The fixations on learning everything there is to know about attachment styles, your own anxious or avoidant tendencies, your lovers and friends attachment particulars. All of this is a path to more pain if you’re not actively training in attunement, first self-attunement and as you progress and reconnect, your ability to attune to others without loosing your individuation. 

Recalibrating and attuning to your Self, your body, and others will have you feeling the difference between hyper-vigilant monitoring, and those who can read people and deploy cognitive but not affective empathy – and those who are attuned to you.

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